Today I had the amazing experience of rocking my son to sleep for the first time ever.

It's amazing because he is five years old, and we've been a family for the last four of those years. 

When he was one, he used to SCREAM and stiffen his body like a board when we tried rocking. A really really strong board. 

He's still that amazingly strong boy today, but today he let me in a little, too. 

We had recently finished a grief & trauma coloring sheet/exercise (I know! How fun am I?!?). 

After that, he did a little post-hard-brain-work-getting-some-of-those-feelings-out-movement around the room, then he climbed in my lap with one of his softest blankets and said, "I want to be rocked."

I happily obliged, though not thinking it would last very long. (We were sitting on the floor at the time, and this boy is basically in perpetual motion.) 

So I started rocking and humming lullabies, just like I had done all those years earlier. Or at least had attempted to do. 

But today was different. Today he started yawning and relaxing. His eyes started doing the fluttery thing they do when kids are falling asleep. I couldn't believe it. But I just kept rocking and humming (it's really confusing to hum the Mockingbird song, by the way--it all just sounds the same), despite my now-aching arms and legs. 

And then he fell asleep. 

It was awesome. 

However, I then had the interesting task of moving a 45-pound sleeping child from my lap without waking him. It's a bit different....


This totally makes up for the challenges of the last week. Totally.

Thanks for letting me in, Buddy. 


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